how xciting, another monday.
at least im getting the fuck out of here for two days come thursday. this will be my "summer vacation".
Everyone else at work gets to take at least a week off. Poor Dawn gets to work right through her summer. I don't really care. b/c i don't do a whole lot anyways. Im just going to get my holiday pay so i can pay for the damage deposit and first months rent in my new place and don't actually have to put any of my Pay Check towards it. I have to buy new curtains for the window and im going to go over and ask Justin if i can come in and do some measurments so i can just pick up the curtains before i actually move in there. Me and Kim were thinking a merlot or some sort of dark purple. I seen these really cool fake leather curtains that looked awesome, so i'll have to show kim and see what she thinx. other than the curtains i think we have everything else we need for our new place. curtains and figuring out a place to put the cat litter box.

it is soo nice to have my days to myself lately.
although i find myself having to struggle to find things to do. i hate being bored. and then i start thinking "well, i might as well just be at work if im this bored at home". You wait and wait for your days off and then when they finally get here, i have nothing at all to fill them with. Maybe i should have planned something for my days off instead of just doing nothing. Maybe i could clean out my car. Before winter gets here.

I think me and kim are going to throw some sort of a party tomorrow night. Me and her both have the night off and then i don't work until saturday night at 7pm, so if i get all hungover i'll have plenty of time to heal up before work.

blah blah blah. give me some xcitment.

Im finally on holidays from the school.
thank god.
i go back on the 28th i think. i better check that to make sure.

my bday rocked!
i had to work the night of my actual birthday (aug 2) and so after work on the tuesday before i celebrated by not leaving work after my shift and getting everyone to come to the bar after i was done and just got drunk at work until closing then went back to my place with terry, craig, drew, kimmy, justin and rob and kept drinking until about 5 in the AM. The next day, the day of my actual birthday, i wwas very very hung over. i didn't have to work until 8pm that night so i basically just stayed in bed or on the couch all day. which was nice. nice lazy bday. And then i went to work and all was alright, pretty slow wednesday night in the bar. Craig came by around 9pm and said he was gonna get me a bag of "candy" for my bday after work. So at midnight me and craig stayed up all night snorting blow and then i had to go unload beer at 9am, i went and did that all coked up and then came home and finally shut it down around 1:30pm. I slept for maybe 2 hours and then kim came over after she was done work and we starting drinking a few beers and i didn't end up getting to bed until 2am. So that was a long couple of days. I ended up doing more coke on friday and then saturday i had to work the day shift, so i didn't sleep for almost 24 hours again. I had to get some sleep on saturday night b/c we were leaving for Sounds of the underground at about 10:30am.

I have decided that i am no longer going to do cocaine. Its becoming a little pathetic and way way way too repetative. Its becomeing a tuesday thing and a thursday thing instead of just a weekend thing.

Sounds was alright.
I got to see Behemoth. They rocked!
Then it was black dahlia murder, they sucked.
then it was terror, they sucked too.
then it was GWAR!!!! And i almost died in the pit and have a really awesome stained red, yellow and green muscle shirt for my wall! I love gwar, they were even better then last year!
Then it was Cannibal corpse and that was one wicked show! Insane crowd! The pit was crazy!
Then it was trivim, they sucked and always have.
Then it was inflames. they put on a really good show, but im not a big fan.
Then it was as i lay dying. im not a big fan of them either, but the drummer fucking rocked!

all in all it was an awesome day. I had a lot of fun and i was sober the whole time. It actually felt nice to feel HUMAN for a change instead of a walking zombie like i usually do after 3 days of coke binge.

we stayed in a hotel and came home on monday. We got home by 4pm. and then my friend Curtis stopped by b/c i told him to pick me up some shrooms, which i had totally forgot about, so he dropped those off for me and me and craig ended up doing mushrooms last night and tripped balls for a bout 5 hours!

It was a pretty rockin weekend. but i am so determined and proud of myself that i am quitting all the coke ingesting. My body definatly needs a break. But im just scared im going to gain a lot of weight. I've lost 20 pounds in 3 months and it is pretty exciting and im realling loving the lost pounds, but now i'll probably gain it all back. But oh well, im getting kinda gross. im down to 130, so a few pounds of weight gain probably isn't a bad thing.

working every night and every day this week sux.
Tangled is playing at the bar on friday so that should be okay. good tips, probably have some fun. maybe see if Thomas is gonna bring down some E with him, which might make things a little more enjoyable at work.

its wierd how i can do e and cocaine and all that at work. its nice being manager. but if i didn't have my fun at work i'd never have any fucking fun.

i really wanted to go uptown and take part in the crown and anchor that will be going on. but alas, it starts at 7pm and i also start work at 7pm. i miss out on everything.

oh well, next sunday i guess im gonna go to SOTU. There really isn't many bands playing that i have much interest in seeing. Maybe Cannibal Corpse. But thats about it. Maybe Trivium, b/c they are Canadian and all that. But im more or less just going for something to do on a sunday, an excuse to get out of the house, seeing as how sunday is pretty much my only day i ever get off work.

and then, i guess, a week from today, will be my 22nd bday. big whoop. i already feel 70.


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yeah, i don't know what this is all about really.
some lame-o pics i guess.













aren't i just loverly?


*gag*

why can't something interesting happen??

all i ever get to do is work. i hate it.
im gonna crack open and spew onto everyone soon.
and no one will like it.


i need to lay off the crack cocaine.
i need it to fucking rain.
i need a day where the heat outside,
fails to compare to the fire inside.

Dawn after work.
Needs shower, make up and a window to smash.

you know what really really sux??

when your friends try to start a romantic relationship with you.
its sooo hard to keep the friendship after that. horrible.

why can't my guy friends just continue wanting to be FRIENDS???
fuck! if i wanted to be more than friends with you, i would have pursued it by now, don't u think??


and another thing.
when i tell my syster im going over to do laundry at mom and dads after work, that dosn't mean bring your own dirty laundry over there before im done work and hold up my production. i have to go back to work at fucking 8pm, you don't. so fuck off.

Slayer rocked!

COB was definatly the best!
i love COB!


Stayed awake for 3 whole days, and probably partied a little too hearty!

but im still alive and doin fine!!